04/11/11 Traits of failures in life
- Lazy, quitting when things get hard
- No ambitions/dreams/goals
- Not outgoing
- Afraid
- unmotivated
- never went for anything
- lack of enthusiasm
- Addictive personality
1) Failure to identify exactly what one wants
2) Procrastination with or without cause
3) Lack of interest in acquiring specialized knowledge
4) Indecision
5) Habit of creating excuses instead of plans to get
6) Self-satisfaction
7) Indifference, ready to compromise instead of fight
8) Habit of projecting blame
9) Weakness of desire
10) Willingness, even eagerness, to quit at the first sign of defeat
11) Lack of organized plans
12) Habit of neglecting to move on ideas
13) Wishing instead of willing
14) Habit of compromising with poverty instead of aiming at riches
15) Searching for all the short cuts, trying to get without giving
16) Fear of criticism.
Results is the name of the game. What other game is there?
02/11/11
Starting to realize that all the answers I need for productivity can be learnt from mum. I believe she is the epitome of an ENTJ, maybe an ESTJ. She’s done pretty well for herself, she is 56 and retired already, owns her own home without debt, lots of money saved.
And then I look at dad and see how not to live my life.
Mum: Gets up early even when she’s had little sleep and goes to work and does what needs to be done. Is strong mentally and uses thinking to make decisions, rather than feeling, and doesnt care what other people think. Clarifies what needs to be done without worrying about what other people would think of her. Goes the extra mile. Doesnt procrastinate on tasks that need to be done. Forward motion.
Dad: Skips days off work and hates going to work. I would see him as an INFP actually.Wallows in self pity a lot and refuses to move on with his life. Is weird and introverted. Insecure. Didnt earn much money. Withdrawn. Victim mindset. Blames.
But I can grow and change. And it would be best if I started listening to mums advice.
Action orientated learning
Reading this article from SP really hit home how I need to carry out an action task to reinforce what I learn. I can keep learning self help stuff for months and months without any noticable tangible real life RESULTS. The plan is to reinforce anything I learn (about business, maths, personal development) with a real life implementation of what I’ve learned. I’ve noticed I keep up a productive habit for a while but when I crash I stop trying all together because I’m generally lost in the haze of mountainous information available.
Action plan:
- Set clear and concise life goals
- Start learning again with the ultimate focus on tangible, measurable results
- Only use laptop outside of my bedroom
“It’s to enter the positive spiral where your thoughts, feelings, actions, and results are all aligned in the direction of your goals AND this alignment is getting better and better and better. “
ultimate focus is on results
ultimate focus is on results
ultimate focus is on results
ultimate focus is on results
FACE THE NUMBERS
31/10/11 - Halloween
Horrible lesson with my driving instructor on dual carriageways. I was sweating buckets and very nearly crashed into someone at 70mph. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I think if I ever pass my test I will have to avoid all dual carriageways and motorways. I don’t feel safe going at that speed with my headset. My driving instructor talks to me like I’m a stupid moron. But, true to what I read in David Burns’s book, it can only upset me if I let it. There’s probably something to learn from that though.
I need to:
-Pay more attention to road signs
-Pay more attention to other people on the road
Today I:
-Studied depression
Mum is really fucking getting on my nerves today, I know I need to get a job, but urgh urgh urgh urgh just wanna die in a hole
30/10/11
Still feeling poo. I’m starting to realize what a huge uphill climb it will be to completely change 19 years of conditioning and thought patterns. Within a year I could have implemented 12ish new habits. Pushing it, I could implement 4 new habits every 30 days which would give me 48 new habits at the end of the year.
So, here are the first 4 habits for the next 30 days:
- Wake up when alarm goes off
- Record negative thoughts everyday
- Business studies for 1 hour everyday
- Khan Academy exercise everyday
Today I:
-Khan Academy stuff, learnt 7x times tables
29/10/11
Starting to get really bored and lonely now. I’m still not accepting that the one thing, the one key thing I really need to do is to get my personal issues in order. I need to be in charge of my emotions and stop letting them dictate my life once and for all. I can keep beating around the issue by drawing, browsing forums, etc. but that big issue will still be there. I need to use all of my courage to do this and face it head on. Now is the perfect time. I can make it a habit and never be a slave to my emotions again. And all the answers I need are in the 3 books I have right here with me now. Why can I not sit down and read them?
28/10/11
Personal hygiene
- Healthy hair, skin and nails
- White smile, oral hygiene - brush floss and mouthwash
- Body Odour - body spray, moisturizer, deodorant, perfume (back of neck)
- Hair Removal
- Clean clothes (no stains, ironed, fresh)
- Clean ears
- Clean skin
- Clean/tidy/fresh smelling living space
A horrendus day today. I keep thinking about david and f. I had a dream about f last night. When are they going to stop? I feel like I’m never going to get good friends ever again. I feel like hurting myself. My life is such a failure. I know I have the power to change it if I want but I have no energy to. It’s so frustrating being stuck here, going nowhere. With nothing. Its hard to accept that everything I have today is a result of the choices I’ve made. I am living in fear. d anf f. d and f. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I would give anything to go back to one day at school again. Turn back the clocks and just a live a day again at secondary school. I miss being around those people, having good mental health and endless opportunities for my future available.
27/10/11
INFP (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perception) to ENTJ (Extroversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judgment)
People who prefer extraversion draw energy from action: they tend to act, then reflect, then act further. If they are inactive, their motivation tends to decline. To rebuild their energy, extraverts need breaks from time spent in reflection. Conversely, those who prefer introversion expend energy through action: they prefer to reflect, then act, then reflect again. To rebuild their energy, introverts need quiet time alone, away from activity.
The extravert’s flow is directed outward toward people and objects, and the introvert’s is directed inward toward concepts and ideas. Contrasting characteristics between extraverts and introverts include the following:
- Extraverts are action oriented, while introverts are thought oriented.
- Extraverts seek breadth of knowledge and influence, while introverts seek depth of knowledge and influence.
- Extraverts often prefer more frequent interaction, while introverts prefer more substantial interaction.
- Extraverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone
Extraverted Characteristics
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Act first, think/reflect later
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Feel deprived when cutoff from interaction with the outside world
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Usually open to and motivated by outside world of people and things
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Enjoy wide variety and change in people relationships
Introverted Characteristics
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Think/reflect first, then Act
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Regularly require an amount of “private time” to recharge batteries
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Motivated internally, mind is sometimes so active it is “closed” to outside world
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Prefer one-to-one communication and relationships
Thinking and feeling are the decision-making (judging) functions. The thinking and feeling functions are both used to make rational decisions, based on the data received from their information-gathering functions (sensing or intuition). Those who prefer thinking tend to decide things from a more detached standpoint, measuring the decision by what seems reasonable, logical, causal, consistent and matching a given set of rules. Those who prefer feeling tend to come to decisions by associating or empathizing with the situation, looking at it ‘from the inside’ and weighing the situation to achieve, on balance, the greatest harmony, consensus and fit, considering the needs of the people involved.
Thinking Characteristics
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Instinctively search for facts and logic in a decision situation.
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Naturally notices tasks and work to be accomplished.
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Easily able to provide an objective and critical analysis.
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Accept conflict as a natural, normal part of relationships with people.
Feeling Characteristics
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Instinctively employ personal feelings and impact on people in decision situations
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Naturally sensitive to people needs and reactions.
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Naturally seek consensus and popular opinions.
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Unsettled by conflict; have almost a toxic reaction to disharmony.
Judging Characteristics
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Plan many of the details in advance before moving into action.
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Focus on task-related action; complete meaningful segments before moving on.
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Work best and avoid stress when able to keep ahead of deadlines.
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Naturally use targets, dates and standard routines to manage life.
Perceiving Characteristics
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Comfortable moving into action without a plan; plan on-the-go.
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Like to multitask, have variety, mix work and play.
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Naturally tolerant of time pressure; work best close to the deadlines.
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Instinctively avoid commitments which interfere with flexibility, freedom and variety
26/10/11 - Books to read this week
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Robert B. Cialdini
- The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything Guy Kawasaki
25/10/11 - Refined goals
- 7am Wake up
- 8am Exercise for an hour
- 8am Do at least 1 Khan Academy exercise
- 9am Apply for a job everyday
- 9am - 1pm Writing down negative thoughts everyday
- Afternoon: Personality change and self help books
- Evening: Study business for at least 1 hour everyday - take notes
Possibly:
- Driving
Nondaily activities:
- Read a successful business person’s autobiography at least once a month
- Spend time learning about divergent thinking
- Learn programming
24/10/11
Still in a slump. Spent today watching the rest of Green Wing over again. I think I’m getting closer to refining my goals.
23/10/11
Put your head underwater and keep it there for a while.
You’ll soon realize that you’re 100% committed to breathing.
Notice that you don’t make excuses not to breathe. Notice that you don’t worry about motivating yourself to breathe. Notice that you don’t need to justify your desire to breathe.
You just breathe.
Commitment is action.
No excuses. No debate. No lengthy analysis. No whining about how hard it is. No worrying about what others might think. No cowardly delays.
Just go.
What if something gets in the way of your commitment?
What would you do if someone tried to prevent you from breathing?
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I’ve realized I’m ‘commited’ to lots of things in my life that I tend to overlook. I wash my braces properly every night. I do the washing up after evening meals. I don’t think about, moan about, or analyze them, I just do them. They may not be completed to amazing standard everyday, but they get done.
And this is what I need to aim for everyday in my life. Combating negative thoughts becoming second nature. Drawing without excuses, analyzing, or worrying about making it perfect. Just doing. Remove all emotion from everything you want to become good at, you stop resisting, and it becomes easier and easier to make progress.
Things I want to become good at:
- Taking responsibility for everything in my life
- Being happy
- Having a high self esteem
- Be excellent at business
